4 weeks to nyc

OK been naughty haven't written much.  To be honest with different family problems and now works in the toilet haven't felt like it.

Any way given up the diet just trying not to binge.  Although after a stressful work meeting did demolish a family bag of buttons.

However I have given up drinkl until May and I am doing a 45 minute Zumba workout on the xbox and 5 k run a day.  Done it for 4 days now so feeling pleased with myself.

Hopefully the exercise will counter act the food choices.  Maybe need to realise at 40 I am just not meant to be a size 10 and concentrate on toning up the wobbly bits... that's the plan anyway.

Have sacked slim fast

weighed myseelf on friday and hadn't lost ANY weight... so harsh. Have given up n the slim fast.  now what.  only 5 weeks to New York very dispondant now.  Really am disgusted with myself.

Lost 2lb Is that it?

Weighed myself Friday  lost 2lb.  Now second week on slim fast.  God its hard.  Have been good though.  Well during the day, things tend to go to pot of a night.  Same old story.  Imagine what I could have lost if I don't have wine!

Slim fast it is then!

Been on slim fast since Fri. God it's hard work.  Haven't cheated though, unless you count half a fairy cake yesterday. 

 weeks and I will be in New York that's what the call serious motivation.

I am afraid I can't tell you what I weigh because A) I think its counter productive.
                                                                        B) I am too scared.

Work makes me fat!

This is the huge mountain of food that greats me when I sit in the staff room.  This isn't a special occasion just a daily occurrence.  I have now resorted to a slim fast diet.  Got only 7 weeks to NYC and I know my visit will be spoiled if I feel too fat when I am there.  I am hoping that by restricting myself so severely I will stop the binges.

I am looking forward to my cocktails later though!

Not Feeling Very Fab

Didn't go to Rosemary this week.  To be honest chickened out.  Knew all I have done is eat so Hadn't lost any weight.  Have been getting up every day to do my Zumba Xbox which is fab,

Put some work trousers on today and they are feeling snugger.  Can't blame the tumble dryer as I know these defiantly haven't been in!  What did I do to make myself better brought a chocolate bar and ate it when I got home.  Not good.  Although was only 117 calories.

Feel dreadful have a migraine and now got to to go to work.  Hoping they send me home but bet they won't.  Then got a concert tonight.  been really looking forward to it to.  Off to get some migraleave on way to work now.

Had a set back.

Had total humiliation at Rosemary.  Now weigh more then I started.  Think she may well ask me to leave as not good for business.

My sister said I shouldn't go any more as my self esteem is through the floor and its counter productive.  I am wondering if it's making me fat.

I should just be looking forward to my birthday and learning to love the way I am.  Realistically I am not horrendously overweight.

Trouble is I am an emotional eater and in times of stress I feel compelled to stuff my face.  Really need to see a physcologist I think.  Did something awful today, which terrified me.  i am under a lot of stress with family issues and I completely stuffed myself dinner time .