The Dangers Of Wine ERHHHH

Had a diet danger spot.  Went out Friday night with my lovely friends.  I set out .. right not going to drink much.. Then I started. Unfortunately because I wanted to save my calories for the liquid form, didn't eat much then set about drinking large glasses of wine.  I have to say I lost count.  I had fab night but unfortunately can't remember most of it.  I do believe I was heckling the Micheal Jackson tribute act.  I have no idea what I said. What a tit.  The only thing for my favour is that I am a very happy drunk not maudlin or aggressive.  I just suffer from amnesia.  God did I feel so rough in the morning.  Did want to die.

Then I had to go to my lovely nephews birthday party which was great but not the best place with a raving hangover.  Then of course because your hungover you eat more.  Ended up having a KFC and then a doughnut and apple pie.  That's why you shouldn't drink on a diet because you have all the alcohol calories and then the hangover calories.  Not feeling confident about my weigh in this week.

Oh Joy 2.5lb

Wow weighed last night at Rosemary's and I have lost 2.5 lb.  Can't believe it .  That's even after 2 meals out and a weekend away.  I knew I had worked hard but sometimes the scales don't always show it.  That's it now fully motivated.

Still got those demons.

Its my first weigh in later with Rosemary. Hope It shows the effort I have put in.  Had bad day yesterday.  Sometimes gets to me at work, the uncertainty of whether were closing or not.  Especially when some old lady wants to volunteer to help run the library... Hang on a minute love I haven't been made redundant yet.  very scared about the future because I really don't want to start looking fro a job again and I have been very lucky and never been made redundant.  Thought there might have been a job at Matts place but he told me there definitely wouldn't be.  Don't know if that's just for me though!.

Despite all this I staid true to my diet and didn't head for the cream cakes.  Was so hard though.  Got Matts birthday present today. So excited.  Also got some new keep fit stuff as mine is on the snug side.  Did try them on first though nothing worse then camel toe haha.

I have a confession though.  I have brought an item of clothing.  A jumper dress in the sale .  Wasn't going to buy anything till New York so I am feeling disappointed with myself.  haven't quite controlled those Demons.  I think I have got an addictive personality though because I do get such a rush from spending money... Which when you look at my current employment prospects is not good.

Feeling Angelic

Well just come back from a fabulous weekend in Manchester.  Very wagtastic.  I have to report diet wise I have been a superstar. 

Went out for a meal Friday night and had salmon and salad swapped wine for G&T (half the calories) and NO pudding.  Then took my own sandwiches to Manchester and ate them while the kids ate KFC and last night had salmon and baked spud with no butter.  Did have half bottle of wine and a mini pudding though.  I refused the cooked breakfast and had porridge with fruit. 

Its strange though because I seem to have food under control I seem to have everything else under control .  I stuck to only buying what I needed and didn't for go my clothing pledge.. This is to only buy clothes when I can fit into a 10 and buy a New York wardrobe in one go.

I so hope I have lost this week after this monumental effort.  Friday was so disappointing only loosing one lb.  I so know I have been as good as I could be, Fingers crossed I can keep this up.

Still Motivated

Well started back at Rosemary's did the walk of shame have put on 7lb since October Gulp. Wendy (the instructor ) said bet you can feel that.... No shit Sherlock all on my ass and rotund belly.  Anyway been very good all week have done two RC classes and an hour on the Xbox.   Got a book now to fill in all my calories. Meant to stick to 1200 a day. Jeese so hard. Never really calorie counted before.  There is a lot of guesstimating going on but 1200 calories is NOTHING.

 Going to brave those dreaded Boots scales tomorrow V scary.  If I haven't lost gonna go insane because I know I have worked hard. Worried about the weekend though because going out for a meal Friday and then going to stop in a hotel Saturday will a huge English breakfast.  Repeat I will be good ... I will be restrained.

Stressed and Scared.

I am going back to Rosemary Conley tonight V scared don't think Wendy is going to be too impressed.  Oh well the only way is down (weight wise).  I know I will have put on at least half a stone since I last went which is very depressing.  Exercise wise I have done terrible.  Need to really get into a routine. Food wise I have done well the last few days. Going to be devastated if I haven't lost on Friday.

Weekend Munchies

Have tried to be good this weekend after my scale disaster Friday.  Went out for a meal with my lovely sister and drank too much wine.  then went for a lovely meal at the Old School House . Although did have fish with boiled potatoes but had wine and starter and pudding.  feel bloody enormous.  Was full of good intentions exercise wise but total disaster.  I really hate myself at the moment and all my clothes are getting tight.  Will definitely be back to it tomorrow and starting back at Rosemary Connolly Tuesday.  Although put on half a stone since last went in November.  How humiliating although I wasn't well but its just sad excuses.  Haven't worked out how many weeks to New York or party.  Must keep plodding on.  Matt very focused and sure he is skinnier then me which is not good at all.

Have been good today though.  No snacking.

Oh my god how did that happen!

Got on the scales today full of positivity.  knowing all week I had avoided all the bad stuff with a saintly no thank you.  I have even got my carcass onto the groaning treadmill and lifted weights.  How was all my hard work rewarded ... I have put on 1lb.  How did this happen.  So unfair when I know in my heart of hearts I have really tried.  nearly came back from lunch and reached for a Thornton's chocolate but no I stayed strong.

That's not the only disappointment this week.  part of my fab at 40 is to change my life in a different direction.  With this in  mind I went to college to enrol in a nail technician course only to be told it was Part 2 and they only do part 1 in the week when I work.  How unfair.  that was a chance to branch out on my own, which is what I want to do.  Back to the drawing board for me I think.

I have found my motivation.

Well I have not eaten chocolate or sweets since Friday.  That's 4 whole days whoop whoop go me.  This is despite being surrounded by chocolate at work and I even didn't join everybody else on Saturday munches.  I have been walking to work and even went on the treadmill yesterday.  I keep setting my alarm for early in the morning but I just have to accept that I am not a morning person and it's never going to happen.

The reason for all this motivation is that I have booked our fortieth Birthday party.  That is very exciting but now stressing that nobody is going to turn up.  Well I will be in a size 10 by then totally determined.

This is so hard!!

It's Saturday and I am at work surrounded by mountains of chocolates.  I am proud to report I have been at work 5 hours and not a single chocolate has passed by mouth.  I have decided to take it an hour at a time but I tell you what I feel really shaky.  I am sure its a sugar come down.  I really have had enough now.  I have broken into acne and all my clothes feel a little bit too snug for comfort and I really can't blame the tumble dryer for shrinking it!  I do have a curry when I get home but I am not going to drink wine and will not crack with the Saturday night munchies.  Just an hour at a time........

Week One dah dah dah

Ok just weighed and have stayed the same. Which, not the result I was hoping for at least I havn't put any weight on.  I really need to discover my will power as I am hoovering up the chocolates at work. Very bad times! must try harder.

Muffin Top

Well started day well nice healthy porridge.  Had my lovely friend round for dinner and ate a healthy baked spud and salad.  All very angelic. Then it went car crash wrong.  Unfortunately there is still a packet Asda Viennese biscuits in the cupboard that some kind hearted (but truly evil) person gave us for Christmas.  Now I swear that they actually spoke to me in the cupboard and before I knew it I had gobbled down four!!! Yes Four.  I haven't had any time to do any exercise and I am waiting for the husband to come back from badminton.  This I blame for the weakness of the biscuit.  Panicing now about Friday weigh in.  Will be very grateful if I haven't put on 1.5lb!!.

Going to listen to my Paul McKenna CD tonight.  Think Yourself Thin.  Need to get a grip on my compulsion.

Monce Pies 1 helen Nil

Off to a very bad start. The trouble is I have still have one packet of mince pies and a box of biscuits to go.  Today the kids went back and finding myself on an off guarded moment I realised I had accidentally popped a mince pie in my mouth.  And no this was not an ordinary mince pie this was an extra special all butter mince pie.  Then to make things worse because I had done that I then went and had 2 biscuits with my lunch and then 3 biscuits when I got home from school.  Bad Helen very bad Helen.

Not all bad though I walked down to Asda and back  and also did a session on the xbox.  On the whole though I have consumed far more calories then I have lost. 

Really must get to grips with this.  Only 4 more mince pies in the box left!!

Not off to a flying start.

I have a lady cold.... yes a lady cold so my new years good intentions are not off to a flying start.  I have still done my xbox work out.  The problem is there is so much food still in the house.  Yes I know that I don't have to eat it.  I think I am going to get Matt to take the last box of mince pies to work so I can start.  At least kids will be back to school Tuesday so lots of walking involved then and a bit of me time.  I haven't forgotten my goal of 1.5lb this week.