Oh dear. Its been a few days till I updated this. Things not going well at all. Put on 3lb at Rosemary. You would have thought that would be the trigger I need to get back into it. You are wrong turned into some kind of manic eating machine. I am binging in a really bad way. Everything seems to have gone out of control. Gone back onto EBay and brought 3 dresses in a size too small. Had a drink every night which is not good at all. That defiantly has to stop now. I think my self esteem is on the floor. Ive slipped into bad ways and every time I look in the mirror I tell myself how fat and ugly and what an awful person I am.
Sounds weired but I am kind of punishing myself with food. I know its bad for me and I am not even enjoying the food when it goes in.
What has triggered this? I don't know I am very stressed about all the good things coming up. I just feel overwhelmed by it all and I am worried about where the money is coming from. I am not so stressed about work. I have accepted the situation is how it is and just go with the flow. Really don't think the remark helped from someone saying they knew I wouldn't do it.
I am just really down. Need to give myself an enormous kick up the arse!
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